This is Part 3 of a presentation for a joint meeting between the Walden Cyberspace and Tokyo Japan chapters of Phi Delta Kappa, February 21-29, 2004. Welcome chapter members and guests! Please, join the dialogue on this topic by posting your thoughts or questions for Peg in the comment board at the bottom of the page.
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Whether we are making individual, classroom, or community connections we need to be doing all we can do to maximize the two positive affects and minimize the six negative affects. In the classroom we need to share the excitement and laughter as a group, but together we also feel the pain of each other's tragedies. As a group we try to improve life for everyone.
After the basic lessons have been taught the teacher gathers his students in a circle at a scheduled time each day. Classmates are encouraged by their teacher to express how they feel about something that has become important to them. It might be something that happened in class, at recess, or at home. The rules are simple. No one can interrupt until each student (who choses) has expressed their feelings in appropriate details. Students can complain about how they felt about a particular event, but they are not allowed to blame anyone for what happened. Here they learn that their feelings are theirs and theirs alone, and not the fault of the other guy. It becomes a function of the group to react to another's feelings honestly by opening their own feelings. Students look forward to this time each day. It becomes a daily forum for expressing and discussing natural upsets that happen in a child's life.
Of course, it takes a few weeks for any new group to get used to this process. After the initial lessons on affects it becomes easier to talk about your own feelings. If you can name and identify the feelings that flow through yourself and your peers it makes the whole process much more logical. Being already familiar with the Compass of Shame it makes students a lot less likely to hide their emotions when some feeling or bit of shaming behavior is exposed. It also makes the student less likely to submit meekly to a peer who they fear, or to humiliate or bully a classmate. This is the basis of the program we are developing for schools and communities. With our pilot programs placed in Pennsylvania schools over the past years we have found that children who know the nine affects and about the Compass of Shame are more willing to listen and empathize with other students.
There are better ways to end violence than with more violence. Here is a quote from one of the students in my first pilot program. Patrick Tobin sums up his learning by using it in a day to day approach to others. He says, "I'll talk out my problems rather than just fight over them. It wasn't just like an individual process. It was everybody working together and it made it so much better and so successful." |
Discussion
Archived Comments
| Name | Comment |
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| Theran | Although there have been times that I have "lost my cool" in class and made a fool of myself, can such behavior on the part of the teacher be considered as engaging in "violence"? |
| Peg | It depends on specifically what the behavior in question was. I have lost my cool with the kids, only to stop in mid-sentence and explain to them what I was feeling and apologize for what I may have said or how I acted. Making a fool of yourself only happens when one is unwilling to accept responsibility for their actions, and unwilling to learn from the bite of shame in how to "do it better." Kids readily accept that adults don't know it all, but they also accept it when we admit we are not perfect. It is an example in action when the teacher can express how he feels, how it caused shame, and how it can be resolved. This works especially well when the kids have the proper affect learning background. Can it be considered "violence" on the part of the teacher? It depends on the severity of the act; verbal, emotional, or physical. |
| Gay | It would indeed be a more perfect world if all the world's children received training that helped them understand and cope positively with the shame experience in the primary grades! After pondering this program material, I see the greatest challenge for myself to be in trying to find ways to interject this training in my own classrooms--where I work with older students, in subjects that do not allow for anything like circle discussions about feelings. I will have to learn more ways to respond to classroom incidents (such as the barely audible "tch" from a corner of the room in response to another student's "uncool" behavior; or the rolling of the eyes, or the subtle careless "bumping") that are hostile, shaming behaviors. All too often, I ignore these incidents in order to not detract further from the lesson in progress. |
| Peg | There are many incidents of this type that many teachers ignore. It is impossible to teach, to accomplish the standards that a state requires if we would respond to each and every rolling of eyes, etc. Therefore, it becomes a teacher's job to mentally "keep score" of who is getting the eye rolls, the bumping, etc. Who is doing it to whom, how often, in what situations? Look for patterns, pull out those offenders and recipients, teach or reteach directly to these students. |
| Marion | I've found, after many years at the elementary level, that many children really don't know how to solve problems, except to go running to Sibling, Friend, Mama, or Teacher. What I did when out on playground duty was to put those who were invovled in the problem together to discuss the problem & decide what each might have done to avoid it. I explained that because I wasn't there, I didn't know what truly happened - only they knew & only they could solve the problem. Then I asked them to talk together & come and see me when things were resolved. Basically, it was: 1) What did I do? 2) What should I have done? 3) How can I make it better now? 4) What can I do in the future to avoid problems like this? I did not punish any of them. When they solved the problem together & could come to me and agree all was now OK (I had them shake hands) and tell me the answers to the above questions, they could go and play again. I never had a student refuse, and every time they seriously sat down to discuss, they owned up to their part & parted as friends who worked a problem out together. I agree with Peg that this should happen at the elementary level. Any tool that empowers students to deal with problems and solve them is powerful. The beauty of the SSTI/Pennsylvania Schools method is that it is simple, and it works; excuses don't. Every human, regardless of color, creed, or culture, experiences the same affects as listed in this section, & we all need to learn to deal w/ those feelsings. As teachers, we must try to do something to help our students - the bully as well as the victim - so that each may realize what they are doing and develop into strong people w/ understanding of others. Peg's suggestion of keeping track & then pulling those involved out at some time is excellent, and works particularly well at the upper grades -high school level. I'd like to see this program written up and submitted to The Kappan for publication. I don't know if it would be published, but it could surely be useful to many others out there in the trenches, like us. |
| Dr. Andre Elliott | I can relate to Peg's recommendation for teachers to "mentally "keep score" of who is getting the eye rolls, the bumping, etc. Who is doing it to whom, how often, in what situations? Look for patterns, pull out those offenders and recipients, teach or reteach directly to these students." I recently had a conversation with my 6 year old boy who attends a Japanese school. His first language is Japanese. Occasionally, he is called gaijin. This simply refers to someone who is not Japanese. I an encouraging my boy to have profound knowledge of himself as his greatest defense. I want him to know that he is first Japanese. His mother is Japanese. He was born in Japan. His mother tongue is Japanese. He is also an American. His father provides his English and American heritage. He is learning to think that he is fortunate to have two heritages. Most important was his surprise when I told him that most of the world's people are not Japanese. Most of the world's people are gaijin! Again, Peg and all, thanks for this opportunity to engage in an important and timely discussion. The presentation by Peg has been a tour de force. |
| Peg | Marion, your problem solving strategy is excellent and is extrememly useful with elementary age students. I would often send two arguers out into the hall (within earshot of my open classroom door) to talk out and self-solve their problem. Knowing how to name how one feels and be able to express that feeling to another helps to speed the problem-solving greatly. Especially if these kids are familiar with Circle and the affect vocabulary, teachers will hear the words, "Don't attack me? What is shaming you? Is something I did bothering you?" The questions and responses flow so much more freely without the embarrassment of having to tell how you feel, because actually saying how you feel out loud is no longer an embarrassment. Dr. Elliott, I hope the ideas presented here can help your son overcome the shaming situation he endures in school. He can teach others to be as open and accepting as he will be with his double heritages. |
| Peg | Sincere thanks to Marion for inviting me to provide the discussion material for this week, and thank you Gay for the exceptionally fine website that was provided for our discussion. I am pleased that the concept of affect psychology in the schools could cause Barbara to think in depth, and that her reply caused me to think in depth also. Thank you Barbara for providing me the opportunity to learn as well as teach. To all who provided their input, thank you. It has been an exciting and challenging week for me to respond to your comments. I appreciate the opportunity to present the very basics of how affect works in the day to day schoolroom. Hopefully this information will encourage you to visit our website to learn more and become adept at helping the children in your care to name and express their feelings. Thank you, Dr. Elliott, for your kind words. |
| Joseph C Pescatrice | Wow what a meeting Peg. I have highly recommended this one to all of my fellow PDK Area Coordinators / Chapter Member Liaisons at our Ft. Lauderdale meeting yesterday. I taught children in a juvenile detention center who were jailed for serious crimes. It became apparent that while all of these children had severe problems, the greatest was one of poor self esteem. I used all of the guidelines you mentioned for listening skills and discussion as the basis of all instruction and found the children to be lacking in almost all of them. Since we were limited by the length of time we could work with a child, we had to really push for rules and guidelines to be strictly followed and for all discussions to be held quickly and efficently. The issue of self esteem was difficult to address in the time allowed but was interjected into all counseling sessions and debriefings after an altercation. We found our greatest success with those students who were in there for the first time. They tended to be the "peacemakers" when situations were getting out of hand. Those with multiple arrests and or long histories of violence gave good lipservice to the process but were observed (we had full TV and video tape coverage of the entire facility) starting shaming, "dissing" and other bullying behaviors when they thought they were not being watched. |
| Peg | Thank you, Joseph. I hope you will be able to continue using all the various parts of the program in your work with the children in juvenile detention. In your statement , "We found our greatest success with those students who were in there for the first time," lies the greatest truth. Imagine what we could do with those kids if we got to them before they were in a juvenile detention center! |
| Gay Wiseman | This has indeed been a worthwhile discussion, and I wish to thank Peg for all the time and careful thought she has given us. Thanks also to Marion for arranging for this quality program. And finally, thanks to all of you who participated, and brought depth and breadth to the discussion. |